The cruel path of sub-optimizing

Michael Ray, the acclaimed Stanford University professor of the Personal Creativity in Business course, who Fast Company magazine once touted as “the most creative man in Silicon Valley” says that, “Most people forget their youthful experience of greatness and purpose or at least put it aside somewhere deep in their memory. It happens to all of us: we sub-optimize.”  Meaning, we may have an experience of the highest goal in our lives, but we quickly pull back to the lesser goals that society calls success. “And when we do this, we lose control of our lives because we are no longer living from our core. We are living according to someone else’s idea of what life should be or what we should be doing. We lose the power that comes from doing what is right for us.” Being clear and staying connected to your highest goal in life is what creates magic in our lives. Bring a little magic to your week ahead by being more intentional and purposeful in your choices to keep on track to the path you were born for.

2022-06-09T02:48:21-04:00September 13th, 2016|Daily Spark|0 Comments

Your highest and best self

You are capable of much more than you think you are. Often, that is an inconvenient truth. But it’s still true. Any day. Any moment. Any business venture. Any relationship. Any aspect of your health and fitness. Any challenge or competition. The best of us is always already inside of us. Sometimes we just need a little spark to remind us of that.

2022-06-09T03:10:49-04:00September 6th, 2016|Daily Spark|0 Comments

Do You Take Your Own Advice?

As coaches, we are skilled in helping other people gain clarity, build self-belief, take action and generally find ways to consistently and constantly make progress towards their desired life. Of course, you don’t have to be a certified coach to be able to help other people do the same. We all, at times, offer our sound judgement, advice, support or guidance to friends, colleagues and family members. Yet, how often do you follow your own advice to others? Do you find yourself telling colleagues they should leave the office on time and get home to more important things while you stick around just a bit longer to write ‘just one more email’? Have you told a particularly stressed friend that they really ought to take a break and treat themselves to an afternoon at a spa or R&R in the local park, while your common stress-busting strategy is to just keep fighting through it? Do you and your partner often discuss how great it would be to take in more of the cultural treats and opportunities that your area of the country offers, only to see another six months pass without actually doing anything about it? Perhaps these examples don’t exactly resonate with you…but I’m sure there are other situations that you have clearly and boldy, with respect and genuine care for another’s well-being, given someone sound advice. Yet, you yourself haven’t gotten around to acting on the same advice or made the time to take care of what’s important to you. “Do as I say, not as I do” was a popular mantra of a former teacher of mine. Why is it easier to confidently give advice but not have the depth of conviction that [...]

2022-06-09T03:17:11-04:00August 30th, 2016|Daily Spark|0 Comments

Delays are not denials

Do you know that moment when you find out something you’ve been really looking forward to has been cancelled? You’ve been so looking forward to it, building up anticipation, wrapping up your planning and telling your friends all about it? Perhaps a flight for a holiday, a party, a date with someone special, or a new business meeting? The let down can be very painful and frustrating, sometimes even “devastating”. Or so it seems in the moment.  Religious views aside, one my more comforting quotes is “God’s delays are not God’s denials” (or the universe’s delays are not the universe’s denials). I was thinking of this today as I just learned my much anticipated business trip to Australia has been ‘postponed’ — that’s corporate speak for ‘probably ain’t gonna happen’. It was something I had been preparing for for months, a week long training program with great inspirational speakers lined up, fantastic venues overlooking Sydney Harbour and a bonus few days on the end to relax on the beach. Even had numerous early morning and late night calls from Europe to Australia to convince the potential attendees of the value of the week and final got them on board just last week. So the let down of this lastest decision has been hard to take. But delays are not denials, I tell myself. Holding on to this thought doesn’t change the situation but it does significantly alter my emotions around the event. I could choose to dwell and indulge in ‘pain and suffering’ from the change of plans (…as so many of us do choose as default), or I can choose to believe that change happens for a reason. That this just means the experience [...]

2022-06-09T03:22:26-04:00August 23rd, 2016|Daily Spark|0 Comments

Persistence is key, the reward is freedom

I was recently listening to an interview with a very amateur swimmer who tried his first triathlon (sport where you swim, then cycle, then run, all part of one race on one day). When he started training he didn’t know how to swim. At all. After some weeks and months of training he entered his first race and swam 1.5kms in 1 hour and 35 minutes. Or more easily understood, he averaged 6 mins 20 secs to swim 100 metres, and was by far the last one to finish the swim. A slow pace by any standard. However, within a few more weeks he had cut his time for that same distance in half and was now middle of the pack. He used to be afraid of the water and now loves to swim and compete in the sport. When asked of his advice to someone who was taking on a new challenge, his words were as simple as they were profound, “Persistence is key and the reward is freedom”. What is true behind these words is what you gain freedom from. Not usually a lifetime of riches and independence, but more precisely, freedom from your worries, fears, concerns, anxiety, depression, doubts, low self-esteem or whatever mental and emotional weight you were putting on yourself. When that weight is lifted, and you have a breakthrough — such as acknowledging the fact that you can do it — it is often astounding how insignificant your old thoughts of doubt and worry really were. It’s shocking how much those negative thoughts and feelings really tied you down and delayed your success. So whatever challenge you’re currently facing and trying to bust through, remember persistence is the key to your freedom — the [...]

2022-06-09T07:15:19-04:00August 16th, 2016|Daily Spark|0 Comments

The secret to discovering your ultimate motivation

It’s so easy for all of us to ‘lose our motivation’ at times. Sometimes this lull lasts for a few days, but typically it lasts for much longer than we want and it starts to become part of us, like a burden we carry. There may have been some trigger to that motivation slipping away — an event, a deemed ‘failure’, or simple (but oh so powerful) fear that stops us from taking action. We start to tell ourselves a story that we are “so unmotivated”, “I just can’t get motivated”, “I can’t seem to find my motivation anymore”. Which of course, does not really inspire you to take positive action. Fear not, my friend. There is a better strategy to find that motivation, and more precisely, to discover your ultimate motivation. There are four dimensions to motivation as illustrated in the graphic on the right. Let me explain. 4 dimensions of motivation External motivation comes from things or people outside of you, such as your family, your boss, and the economy. Are you going through med school because your parents want you to be a doctor? Are you motivated to save money because there is a recession? Internal motivation comes from within you, when you are inspired to do what you want to do and go after things that are important to you. You exercise because it makes you feel healthy and vibrant, you apply for that job because you like the challenge and growth opportunities. Push motivation is often doing things because you have to, and if you don’t you’re likely to feel some sort of pain. You stop smoking because your doctor says you’re lungs will stop working, you work extra hours because your boss needs that report [...]

2022-06-09T03:37:45-04:00August 9th, 2016|Daily Spark|0 Comments
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